One recent incident which has made me appreciate the importance of effective communication was just few months ago. "Why do you come home so late" I asked my roommate when she finally got home at midnight. I was concerned about her safety because we were living in a not-so-safe community in Hangzhou back then. To my surprise, my roommate seemed to be upset. "I do not want to talk about it. I want to keep my privacy" she answered reluctantly. I was shocked because it looked like she misunderstood my question. However, it was late so we both went to bed. The day after, I still wondered about why she reacted in such a negative way, and finally I talked to my boyfriend. He suggested that the question could be perceived as a nosy question, and reminded me since English is not my first language, I should carefully phrase my ideas so that it would reflect exactly what I intend to say. From then on, I determined to strengthen my communication skills.
Indeed, with powerful communication skills, leaders could motivate a whole team or a nation to achieve great goals, scientists and engineers could exchange their ideas and knowledge to accelerate the technological development, and people could build strong, long lasting and trusting relationships. In a nutshell, effective communication is inevitable.
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Hi Van,
ReplyDeleteI think your story is a good illustration of why effective communication is so vital in everyday life. And I feel that it also brings out another important point in effective communication (although it was not added in your post)--that it's not just about our choice of words and the concise-ness of our language, effective communication is also about using the right tone of voice to express ourselves to others. For example, you could say "Why are you back so late?" with various tones and inflections and they'd get you pretty varied responses as well. So it is important for us to select our tone appropriately in different situations so as not to cause misunderstandings as well.
Dear Van,
ReplyDeleteI agree that the misunderstanding was probably due to communication barriers as we have already learnt. For effective communication to be carried out, we not only need to pay attention to verban and non-verbal communication but we should understand one's culture and background. Certain phrases which are supposed to show warmth and concern in one culture might to be interpreted the same way for the other. Also, within the same culture, different backgrounds also creates variations in the styles of communication.
While we might agree that most people of the same culture mingle better for the first case, we should also be aware that people of the same class but different cultures might mingle just as well, as mentioned by Brad in class.
That said, it really wasn't your fault that night but since you were on an internship mixing with people from different cultural backgrounds, everyone should be more sensitive in phrasing their sentences :)
Hi Van,
ReplyDeleteYour example reminds me the occasions how my boyfriend and me misunderstood each other when we got along at the beginning of the relationship.It is sometimes quite difficult to communicate if ppl are from various background,born and bred in absolutely different cultures.There are jokes,conflicts and misunderstandings in every minutes.We nearly broke up due to those unhappiness.However,what's fantastic is that getting through the ebbs and flows with the same person,and saying"I'm still loving you".It is important to have effective communication,and then we can feel that we are actually re-connecting. Now I feel this is universal true for every kinda relationships.
How is the friendship between your roommate and you now,though it was not a serious misunderstanding in your story?I wish you two had solved that misunderstanding.^^
Dear Van,
ReplyDeleteThank you for this clear and concise response. I really like the way you use the story to illustrate the value of communication skills. I can also appreciate your boyfriend's wisdom. Indeed, when any of us use a second language we need to be careful about losing intentions in translation.
There is only one apparent problem here: In a nutshell, effective communication is inevitable.
Inevitable? Meaning?
Otherwise, you've done a fine job in this short fluent post. I look forward to reading more from you!
Hi Sister,
ReplyDeleteI was definitely in the same situation with you before, when I cared about my brother's safety but I asked with a inappropriate tone and careless wording.
I agree with Dongfang at the point that is about the capability of keeping good relationship with people by the more effective communication. I lost some of my good friends because of misunderstanding between us. And now I've got more friends because of the more effective communication as well.
Last but not least, sister, should it not illegal if someone implies something in his/her comments in your blog? Haha, the effective communication is that magical !
Dear Brad,
ReplyDeleteI meant "effective communication is necessary".
Thanks for your correction.
Van